Rant this way, ma'am

stratkitten @ 2008-05-14T10:56:00

2008-05-14T18:10:32Z

    I come to you showered, well-rested rested, and pleasantly caffeinated. Evelyn, a lady from my Middle Eastern class was very sweet., making sure I was in good shape to walk to the train station. I have to tell you thought that I did have a bit of a bad dream. There were Cenobites involved (what can I say? I saw the Hellraiser movies at too young an age...). I always seem to have nightmares when I am in a weakened mental state. Don't ask me why...
   Now, if you'll excuse me, time to get keep the final paper push going. Rawr!

                                                 -Kai-

stratkitten @ 2008-05-13T16:11:00

2008-05-14T00:26:43Z

    Shaddap....
    Seriously though, this song pretty much fits my mental state right now: Underwater, slow, spacey, .. I pulled an all nighter and only got about two hours' rest between the time I saw the sun come up and the time I had to get up to go to work. where I was so crabby I snapped at a co-worker in the kitchen. It was followed by an immediate apology, of course, but still...I am a 4'11 wolverine when not well rested, and the only one who knew how to keep me pacified in that condition (i.e., laughing and caffeinated) quit. So my unfortunate co-workers were left to bear the brunt of my crankiness.
    There was a guy hustling for someone to take his shift for dead day-Sweetheart, I'm sorry you bombed your midterm, and I know that means you NEED to pass your final. That's why I looked into filling for you, and I'm truly sorry I couldn't. But come on, it's finals. Everybody's hurting for time, and if I can come in dragging ass so can you.
     Speaking of opportunities for rest, I got a huge, huge relief yesterday. My Victorian seminar professor said that he'll accept our final papers until grades are turned in on the 27th. I wrote him telling him that I will be turning mine in on the 25th, because A) I am not an idiot and B) I'd rather turn in a great paper late than a shoddy, unedited one in on time. That means i can have a day off on Friday. The one with the sick sense of humor must like me at this minute...
    Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to make myself some dinner before I go to Middle Eastern Lit Class. it's just a movie tonight, because Professor Karim is nothing if not kind, so I am going to pack up the laptop and work there.

          I am so looking forward to hanging with my Shakespeare class on Thursday....Pizza and pitchers with good company sounds like just what the doctor ordered...

                                                    Love and Cheers,
                                                                Kai

stratkitten @ 2008-05-11T19:47:00

2008-05-12T03:27:21Z

      My beauties were calling me this afternoon, saying "Kai, what happened? We were such good friends! We've been your shelter and a creative outlet since you were an angsty teenager...please play with us..." So to reward myself for a job well done (getting a good page count in and organizing a short presentation on a section of Meredith's "Modern Love") I decided to bust out my Stratocaster.
     I opened the case, and just for shits and giggles tried to do the lead lick to "Hazy Shade of Winter" (it's a lot of fun and not a half bad speed and accuracy workout) In a word, it was squawk. Rus-ty. My fingers were totally not at my command anymore. Oh don't get me wrong, they remember chords all right, and my rhythm has always been good, but the flex was gone and calluses need to be built up. The fingers that had once had such good memory (and not-too-shabby agility if I say so myself ) were long gone...
     I am looking forward to when my life is a little more my own and I have time to read for pleasure (what a foreign concept) and practice an hour a day. A bit more of a balance between my two loves.
     Soon, my dears, soon...
*zombies off for a soda*

Tom Waits - Heart Attack and Vine

2008-05-11T16:20:09Z

  Mornin' all! Today's selection comes to you courtesy of Mr. Waits (and blnk, I dig the hat...so not one word ;-)). I will have you know that that this song contains my favorite lyric of "Don't you know there ain't no devil that's just God when he's drunk". I always feel like I should have a a cigarette whenever I listen ...which is really weird seeing as I don't smoke.
  Called Ma and was glad to hear that she got her traditional Mother's Day breakfast of Eggs Benedict and a mimosa in bed. There's a little gathering at dinner, too. Just a turkey dinner with some friends of the family, my sister and my sister's boyfriend.
  That's all that's fit to type! Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I hear the call of a certain Elizabethan playwright, so I'd better get going.
   Love and Cheers,
    Kai

stratkitten @ 2008-05-10T22:14:00

2008-05-11T06:03:10Z

Sorry it's been a day or two, but the very brief hiatus was totally worth it, because who has 1/2 of her big bad 18 page paper done? Yeah, I do. I want another good page before I go to bed, though. Until then, I am lying around in pajamas watching a little Gilmore Girls and taking a break :-). Despite the headaches and late research nights, it's actually been really fun. It's a feminist critique of Shakespeare's The Rape of Lucrece. My professor dug the proposal and said he's really looking forward to reading it.
    Very productive day...went to BigLots! with Da Roomie where I bought cheap snacks and helped Da Roomie pick out cheap patio furniture. Since then, I have been chained to the computer screen and being very industrious-like.
     Roomie and I were just talking about how we can't believe it's almost been a year since we moved in together. We've had some very interesting times, the two of us. Yes, indeedy.
    Anyhow, I am going to get some water and take advantage of the empty apartment. Paper...sucking me...back...in...
                                          Love and Cheers,
                                                      Kai

John Hiatt - Perfectly Good Guitar

2008-05-09T18:47:44Z

Just got up...not that I'm feeling altogether lazy or anything, but I was up until 4 this morning doing research. Been puttering around straightening up the living room and will run out for errands momentarily (bank to deposit tax return, grocery store for water and orange juice, DVD return). Then, back to it. But I do leave you with this song...by a true master of songcraft...
I hope your Friday treats you well :-)
Love and Cheers,
Kai

stratkitten @ 2008-05-08T22:47:00

2008-05-09T06:18:49Z

     Hey everyone! Just home after my Shakespeare class. We discussed Cymbeline. I liked it, but it counted on suspension of disbelief to a degree that I don't always go, if you get my drift...For instance, the scene is set in the very beginning, with the audience being told that a king had two sons kidnapped and now all he has is a daughter. And then, ¡voila! We see two young men walking down the road. Will they be the two kidnapped princes? Lemme think...
       What I did think was pretty nifty about the play was the character of Imogen; she defies her father the king by eloping for love, she accidentally meets her estranged brothers while dressed as a man, and hilarity ensues ("Would that you were a woman" quickly followed by "Would that you were my brothers") I appreciate the audience is totally in on the joke, but that scene was a bit of a clunker, comedy-wise if you see what I'm saying...a bit too "HIT you OVER the HEAD with the IRONY..." I was fortunate in that I was not alone in this opinion...But then again, even though I love them, I've always thought the Comedies were a little too cutesy for my taste sometimes. I was doubly fortunate that someone brought some beer from the Duck-Rabbit Brewery, of which we all partook a little...It's a running gag from our time spent with the Henriad...yeah...we're just that geeky :-). Next week's class should be fun; just turning in our final papers and partaking in pizza and pitchers at Pizza My Heart.
      Speaking of papers, I'm going to futz a little bit with my final before I go to bed.

                Love and Cheers
                               Kai

The White Stripes - Hotel Yorba

2008-05-07T15:19:56Z

   My personal favorite White Stripes tune :-) This one's off of White Blood Cells. Don't get me wrong, I love when Jack gets all crazy (the marimbas in "The Nurse", for instance) but this one's just so simple and strummy and reminds me of something I'd play with a bunch of friends.
  Hmm...*sips coffee meditatively* Pretty interesting day yesterday. It was just before I left for home yesterday (after staying late to get a function cleaned up because SOMEONE didn't want to...grrrr...) and when I got back my boss asked if I'd had a raise recently. She was pretty pissed that, after working there a year and a half and doing a damn good job, I hadn't. So she went into a meeting and pretty much made it her mission to lobby for me and another guy to get more money because she's a smart lady and knows that if you don't treat good employees well, they tend to leave. So maybe your ever-lovin' brown-eyed Kitten will be getting her just desserts after all...
Speaking of work, today's payday...hear that? I do believe a new Buffy season is calling my name...and maybe a new top or something. The signal's a little lousy :-p. After those adventures, it will be time to settle down to homework and papering for the weekend.
  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd better go get more coffee and get ready for work :-)
   Love and Cheers,
    Kai

stratkitten @ 2008-05-05T06:46:00

2008-05-05T15:33:24Z

   Good morning, all! *raises coffee mug* As you can tell from the tune, I am much recharged since we last spoke. Actually, this morning's selection brought to you by gumbuoy. I read that he finished reading Bret Easton-Ellis' Less Than Zero, so my mind flitted to the Andrew McCarthy/Robert Downey Jr. movie adaptation, and there ya go.
   Yesterday was nice. Went to the Farmer's Market, where I had a nice long walk and found lots of food-type goodness (nice, fresh eggs, some unroasted walnuts, and some truly amazing oranges with juice that dribbles down your chin) and I found a couple of really good books in a hole in the wall shop behind one of the stalls, where I got a nice hardcover edition of David Copperfield and a neat paperback edition of The Yellow Wallpaper and Other Stories. Then I came home, worked on the paper while I sipped my chai, and then, because I had 7 pages done and my prof only wanted a 5-8 page rough draft (out of 10), decided to hang it up for the day.
    I took a nap for an hour, listened to Roxy Music's "Avalon" album, took a nice long bath, and just. hung. out. I read for pleasure, watched Arsenic and Old Lace, and put my laptop on a shelf in my closet for the night.
   And I'm not even sorry for it.
I know this sounds weird, considering how truly goofy and doofus-y I can be (Beavis and Butt-head? Garbage Pail Kids? Bueller...Bueller...?) but my inner monologue can be very brutal with me at times. You know what I mean; that not so little voice that instills panic in you, tells you it's not good enough, goads and insults you into pushing 'til you're cracked out in front of the computer at three AM for the third night in a row running on coffee and adrenaline.
   That part of me needs to...well, not die, because to be quite honest, it's what motivates me to get a lot done and pushes me in a lot of good ways, too. But I do need to learn the difference between internal discipline (good and allows me to do things like get a paper turned in a week early so I can focus on other things) and just beating yourself up (bad and, worse, not productive).
    Anyhow, those are my thoughts for the morning. Hope your Monday treats you kindly :-)

            Love and Cheers,
                         Kai

Notes from the Bell Jar...

2008-05-04T18:48:40Z

      Almost done with paper #2 and am relaxing for a bit. Mostly because there is an astonishing amount of self-talk going on right now...mostly of the R. Lee Ermey Full Metal Jacket type...and I'm starting to feel like Vincent D'Onofrio...Yes, y'all, my mental state tends to deteriorate after looking at the same paper for 3-6 hours at a stretch.
   Thanks for hangin' with me the last few days, gang. I swear after the finals are over in a little over a week I'll stay in bed for 24 hours and then be back to my natural Emma Peel level of sass-ay.
    I think there's a plan at some point to go to the Farmer's Market...Even if not, it'll be time to get outside soon. A walk in downtown Campbell, a nice iced chai and a turkey sandwich with avocado would suit me just fine.
     So it occurs to me...in about 10 days or so (May 15th) it will be the third anniversary of this little journal. I think this should be celebrated but I don't know how I should go about it. Should I have you guys submit an entry topic and choose my favorite to write about (which I am leaning toward)? Should I invite you guys to have an IM session? I dunno...I am open to suggestions.
    *We now return you to your regularly scheduled academic stress-out*

             -Kai-

stratkitten @ 2008-05-03T20:27:00

2008-05-04T03:55:54Z

    Roomie-Thank you so much for getting me out of the house for an hour or two this afternoon. The trip to Heroes for Free Comic Book Day was awesome and I would have missed it completely and not have been able to buy Garbage Pail Kids. And that would have been a tragedy, because they had original ones and not reissues, and my mom never let me have them when I was seven.
     *plays Queen's "You're My Best Friend"*
     Thirsty and needing brain-food now

                   Kai

The Stranglers - Strange Little Girl

2008-05-03T15:17:54Z

  Just a quick pop-in *waves* This morning's selection. I love Tori's version, don't get me wrong, but I like this original version better.
  Other than that, waiting for coffee to brew and my bagel to toast,
and making good paper progress. Should be finished with paper #2 by the end of the day, with any luck. I did however end up last night with a nasty little headache after working on it all day. Must remember to take breaks every so often or that's what happens...
Anyhow, I smell hot caffeinated goodness, so I'd better split.
   Love and Cheers,
    Kai

stratkitten @ 2008-05-02T07:57:00

2008-05-02T15:33:51Z

    Morning all! Nothing to do except tackle the papers. But I have to tell ya, it's one of those mornings where I am having trouble getting started, you know? Instead of waking up and being all "carpe diem" like usual, I want to hang around in my striped flannel pajamas and watch movies with dialog like "What's your damage, Heather?" Methinks the alarm clock of artificial motivation will have to be used...
    Other than that, not a whole lot going on. Did my presentation on Coriolanus last night, and I even turned in the paper on it a week early. My professor seemed to be really pleased with them both :-) Did get a little bit of a bummer though; one of my favorite professors (and, quite frankly, one of my favorite people on the planet) is going on sabbatical my last semester. I won't lie, I am going to miss the really bad Robert Frost impersonations...and the really bad Capote (OT: Why is it everyone gets the nasal lisp but nobody gets the drawl? He was from New Orleans, fer cryin' out loud) and the overly dramatic reading hand of doom...I'll have to ask him to sign one of my books before he goes.
     Anyhow, that's it for the world o'Kitten. I have a nice big cup of java now, so maybe that will instill some sort of motivation...

          Love and Cheers
                         Kai

THE CLASH - ROCK THE CASBAH - 1982

2008-05-01T13:39:33Z

I wouldn't recommend playing this one too loud before about 10AM or so...ya might make people mad...
Yes, it's only about 6:30 am my time, but I have a lot to do, so I need something to get me going while the coffee brews...
Hope everything's good with you guys :-)
*skips off to do papers and laundry and dishes, oh my!*

stratkitten @ 2008-04-30T19:20:00

2008-05-01T02:56:39Z

   Hey! I come to you pretty freakin' exhausted. Had to work a served dinner for 250 today, and I was runner, which meant I was all over from here to hell-and-gone. Fortuately, I have taken a couple Advil and have a plate of Tandoori Oven in front of me to ease the pain.
   Good news: I turned in a rough draft of my paper on Coriolanus, and my professor thought it was really good. I made the corrections he suggested, as soon as I got home (didn't take long at all) and am now all done with one of four. Woot!
    Heard from the family; My uncle is in rehab in Oregon and will be there for the next 60 days or so. I hope it works...It's actually really funny. My speech has become pretty California-fied having lived most of my life here, but having talked to so many people from Olympia and surrounding places recently, I notice a slight reversion. For instance, when I told my boss that there was a palette of soda, I used the word 'pop' and he just looked at me like "Huh? Funny the things you notice...
   Anyhoodle, I am going to let my brain go numb for a bit, then to work...

Suzanne Vega - Left Of Center

2008-04-29T14:09:36Z

  This morning's selection...I absolutely love Suzanne Vega and the way her lyrics take these weird little twists and turns, especially in songs like The Queen and the Soldier. And yes, the chorus to this song is my YIM available message...
  Now, if you'll excuse, time for coffee and papers.
   Love and Cheers,
   Kai

The Kinks - Victoria

2008-04-28T16:28:58Z

  A little something from the Davies boys to get you started on a Monday morning :-)
  Not a whole lot going on in the world o'Kitten...Victorian Lit seminar this afternoon, and that's it. Stayed up a little late finishing and editing my paper; should be finished by tonight. Then, more papers, and, did I mention the papers I have do do after that? Just put the coffee in an IV and let me at'em...
  On a side note, I have been reading a lot about the feminist porn wars via blogs and such. In reading both sides, pro and anti, I have come to a couple of conclusions. The first is that sex for money is economics, not consent. Hear me out: I say this for two reasons 1)Would a sex worker normally have sex with the person who's paying her under any other circumstances? Maybe sometimes, but more often than not I'm willing to bet no. 2) Because though there are many sex workers who can turn down johns at will, some sex workers are truly in no such position. The second conclusion I have come to is that, in all the blustering (Dworkin v. Bright...this time it's personal) the voices of the sex workers get silenced. Too often, the blanket statement by antis that sex workers have been fundamentally damaged by the patriarchy ignores the voices of sex workers who find their empowerment in using their bodies for money (don't believe me that there are some? Look up Renegade Evolution's blog...) Thirdly, that there is always going to be a demand for sex, whether it be through porn or prostitutes. The best we can do is make sure that the men and women involved in sex work are safe, that those that want out can get out, and that legal nets are in place so that their voices are heard if they are raped.
  Now I am of my soapbox...must get to work.
  Love and Cheers,
    Kai

The Sundays - Here's Where The Story Ends

2008-04-26T14:33:29Z

Good morning! Hope I can make your Saturday a little prettier with The Sundays :-)

stratkitten @ 2008-04-25T14:33:00

2008-04-25T22:18:47Z

    Omar-from-work: Thank you so much for being the goofy, hyper-active, sweetheart of a person you are. Dancing to "One Step Beyond" in the kitchen together while doing the dishes made me laugh and got me out of a very cranky, sleep deprived mood. You saved some lives.
   Fortunately for you lot, I am much more refreshed. I come to you, good reader, from my couch with my feet up. Just taking a little rest, finishing my lunch salad and having some raspberry iced tea before tonight's paper assault. I was up too late with it last night and had a 8AM shift this morning. Yechh...

         You know, there's something that's been on my mind for a couple days now. Professor Karim ran into me on my rounds at work the other day and referred to it as my 'other life,' saying that she didn't know Eileen but Kai was a very good student and great in the classroom As I looked down at my nametag, which says "Eileen" it never occurred to me how true that was. I use Eileen to keep people at a distance. She tends to be easy-going to a fault, tends to be too much of a people-pleaser, and maybe a little too buttoned down. It's something to call me when I don't want you to get to know me that well, too.
      Kai, on the other hand, is the real goofball brainiac you read. I don't know when I started compartmentalizing like this. but it's been an extremely useful coping mechanism...
     Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to keep up my rest mode.

          Love and Cheers,

                         Kai

stratkitten @ 2008-04-24T22:47:00

2008-04-25T06:19:45Z

    Death has loaned me her top hat for the evening, I'm in a very full black dress, and on my feet are high heeled boots that lace up to my calves. I am skipping through a very empty, wet city street, and it's late...Join me, won't you?
Totally exhausted after a very long Shakespeare seminar. Three hours, no break. We talked about Antony and Cleopatra. Not one of my favorites, to be honest. Maybe it's just because so much criticism has come from the Roman perspective, rather than the Egyptian; maybe it's because my 21st century eyes see the play as the "great man brought down by exotic and therefore treacherous woman" trope. Who knows?
    Long day at work as well. I didn't have any functions, but I did spend my shift setting up a function for something like 250. So...many...tables ...to... set , and the fact that the people organizing the function insisted on listening to RuPaul's "Supermodel" to sync runway cues was like a fucking jackhammer to the head. To the organizer: For the record, miss, you should have listened to your nice friend. That song to walk down a runway? Obvious and tacky, like he said. Might I suggest David Bowie's "Fashion"? Just as obvious, but not nearly as obnoxious...
    Anyhow, I have an early shift tomorrow, so I had better split.

             Love and Cheers,
                            Kai

stratkitten @ 2008-04-23T19:25:00

2008-04-24T02:43:33Z

Update: Uncle is OK; After all the exams and all, he is going to be detoxing for five days and then in a thirty day in-patient program. Many thanks to my cousin for keeping me posted on everything.
As for me, long day at work from which I just got back. Just taking an hour lull to get my head back on straight, watch a Buffy ep (now that Da Roomie isn't home. As compatible as we are, we have shockingly divergent taste in entertainment sometimes. I did get her into Firefly though :-)) and have something to eat. Then, paperage ahoy....

-Kai

stratkitten @ 2008-04-22T22:47:00

2008-04-23T06:31:21Z

    So, today started out fine, the regular doing homework and housework thang, but I got some very bad news. My uncle, who I have mentioned before, is back in the hospital as of this morning, and it doesn't look good. Apparently, he was supposed to check into rehab but flaked out. Something went bad and my aunt told his wife/enabler that if she did not call the paramedics and get him admitted, my aunt would do it herself. It breaks my heart to see the man from whom I get my love of music drink himself to death at the age of only 50.
     Addictive behavior, unfortunately, runs pretty frequently in my family. I am pretty moderate, actually. Don't get me wrong, as you know, I enjoy myself as much as the next person, but with two notable exceptions (one of them being a couple weeks ago) there has always been that little voice in my head that says "You've had enough/this is uncomfortable/this isn't fun anymore" and when I hit that wall, I get out of the crowd, take some air and get myself to bed. It does cross my mind to monitor, though...
      In lighter news, I am meeting nice woman from Middle Eastern Lit Class on Saturday at 12:30 for a poetry month event. No matter what, it should be fun. Here's hoping I don't admit to bouncing around to Adam Ant's "Goody Two Shoes" in my boxer shorts...DAMMIT!!! I didn't say that...

          Kai

stratkitten @ 2008-04-20T10:05:00

2008-04-20T17:24:03Z

Morning all! Very quiet here; Just having some post-walk breakfast (bagel, boysenberry yogurt and coffee). Da Roomie and I had a bit of fun last night, going out to dinner, renting some movies, and generally being mellow, although I have been jokingly instructed not to watch 16 Candles when she's around. Sadly, though we share many things, my love of mid-80's John Hughes movies is not one of them...
Other than that, gearing myself up for the beginning of paper-thon 2008. It's true, there really is no more frightening thing than the blank page (or in my case, computer screen). Wish me luck...

stratkitten @ 2008-04-19T12:52:00

2008-04-19T20:22:41Z

Well, I was good. I got up early (about 6 am) took my walk for about an hour, got home, put on some coffee, showered, and read. As I was telling the dear vsoul a little while ago, I had to giggle at the title of a section of one of the papers we are supposed to have read for Coriolanus. I mean, it's called "Fisting the Mouth," fer cryin' out loud, and beneath this veneer of decorum, things make me laugh that the average 14 year old boy would find hilarious. At any rate, I got all the reading done. My goal after lunch is to read Antony and Cleopatra and revisit Coriolanus, which I last read a couple years ago, so my memory is a little hazy. After that, do my 8 page proposal paper.
     After I did the reading, I hit up Record Store day, and it was really crowded. I didn't stay long because I had a lot of things to read and such (in fact, I am on a little bit of a lunch break right now) but I stayed long enough for a quick browse, talk to the nice girl with green hair behind the counter and split. I did get some cool things in my goodie-bag. Some Los Campesinos! buttons, a sticker for Touch and Go Records, a poster of the Presidents of the United States of America (you know, the good people who brought you "Peaches" and "Lump"), a Bullet for My Valentine comic (kee-rap), a church-key, and some pretty tasty compilations (a sampler from a label I'm not familiar with, a sampler of upcoming major releases, and a very tasty acoustic compilation.) They're a local store, so I didn't want to leave without buying something, 'cos that would be bad manners, so I got The Breeders' new album, as well as a gorgeous remaster of the Pretenders' first album, which has a whole bunch of unreleased stuff on it. Yeah, like my arm was so twisted...Let's just say my roommate walked in on me bouncing around and making a sandwich to Mystery Achievement....sorry babe....
    Anyhoodle, the break is over, so it's time to commence to expandin' the noggin.

                      Love and Cheers,
                                  Kai

This is a public service announcement...with guitars!!!

2008-04-19T06:14:01Z

Tomorrow (April 19) is Record Store Day, so please patronize your nearest independent record store and you might get stuff! And heck, if you're at Streetlight in San Jose around noon or so, ya just might run into me :-)